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The Struggle is Real!
As a stay-at-home mom, I am always looking for new, fun things to do with my boys, especially in the summer. A few years ago I decided to sign our family up for a swim club membership. My sons had just turned four and one and I had grand visions of what our days would be like at the local pool club. We would go early, stay late and spend lots of time swimming and enjoying our summer days.
In my excitement, I ignorantly repressed memories of the YMCA mommy and me swim class disaster of 2011, our challenges each night of washing the boys during bath time without meltdowns, and the fact that both of my sons pretty much avoided anything water-related at all costs. No! This was going to be completely different. This would be fun!
Long story short, it was Not. Fun. At. All.
That first summer no one got remotely close to stepping foot in the pool. We spent most of our time sitting on hot vinyl chairs in the baby pool area, sweating and miserable. I had paid a good chunk of change for us to play in the club sandbox and eat junk food from the snack bar. I was frustrated and sad. The reality didn’t come close to the amazing vision I had created in my head.
When the next summer rolled around, determined to help my sons through their fear of the water, I decided to renew our membership . My husband thought I was crazy! I thought if I signed them up for swim lessons things would be different.
Wrong again.
They refused to go in. I’ll spare you the details, but it was not pretty.
Even though the pool was still a challenge, some things were different from the previous year. I was much more educated about high sensitivity and really began to develop a better understanding of why my highly sensitive boys were unhappy at the pool. I started trying out things to help them enjoy the pool at their own pace and on their own terms. By the end of that second summer at the pool, my then 5-year-old son was starting to enjoy walking around in the 2 foot pool and my 2-year-old would occasionally go in the baby pool. Baby steps, but progress, none the less.
Fast forward three years and a lot of practice later, both of my sons love the pool. I practically have to drag my 8-year-old out of the water when it’s time to leave. So what changed? How do you get your child to go from loathing the pool to loving it? It is done with understanding, acceptance, patience, time, and trial and error.
First of all, you need to be able to understand your child’s fears and challenges with the pool and swimming in order to help them. Think about what it feels like for them when they go to a pool. The moment they enter the pool setting, their senses are attacked.
There is a good amount of visual chaos that takes place in this environment. There are children running around, crowds of people in and around the pool and various activities going on at the same time. Not too mention a huge, daunting body of water at the center of it all.
Second there is the noise. With a large amount of people gathered together, noise will follow. There are the sounds of children yelling to each other, laughing and splashing. There may also be the added noise of music being played, adults chatting with each other, lifeguard whistles being blown and announcements being broadcast over a loud speaker.
Third you have the smells that come along with this setting. There is the strong smell of pool chlorine, suntan lotion, and possibly food cooking at a snack bar. Plus your child may also have textile struggles with bathing suit materials, suntan lotion and flotation devices on their bodies.
Whew! This is all BEFORE your child even gets close to the water!
